What is Gaslighting?
Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse where a person or group makes someone question their sanity, perception of reality, or memories. People experiencing gaslighting often feel confused, anxious, and unable to trust themselves.
The objective is to gain power by making someone else responsible for their actions.
The term gaslighting came from the 1944 film Gaslight, where a husband manipulated his wife into thinking she had a mental illness by dimming their gas-fueled lights and telling her she was hallucinating.
Understand – THIS IS A FORM OF ABUSE.
It’s the act of deceiving someone on purpose to get and sustain the upper hand.
Countering: This describes a person questioning someone’s memories. They may say things such as, “you never remember things accurately,” or “are you sure? You have a bad memory.”
Withholding: When someone withholds, they refuse to engage in a conversation. A person using this technique may pretend not to understand someone so that they do not have to respond to them. For example, they might say, “I do not know what you are talking about,” or “you are just trying to confuse me.” This also occurs when someone withholds needed information from someone else for no other reason than to keep it private. The Gaslighting abuser prevents all possibility of coming to a fair resolution, or in giving comforting knowledge to the person in his/her relationship i.e. parent, sibling, spouse, partner, workplace colleague.
Trivializing: This occurs when a person belittles or disregards the other person’s feelings. They may accuse them of being too sensitive or of overreacting when they have valid concerns and feelings.
Denial: Denial involves a person pretending to forget events or how they occurred. They may deny having said or done something or accuse someone of making things up.
Diverting: With this technique, a person changes the focus of a discussion and questions the other person’s credibility instead. For example, they might say, “that is just another crazy idea you got from your friends.”
Stereotyping: A person using gaslighting techniques may intentionally use negative stereotypes of a person’s gender, race, ethnicity, sexuality, nationality, or age to manipulate them. For example, they may tell a female that people will think she is irrational or crazy if she seeks help for abuse.